Aug. 29,2010

I have been remiss, but that’s easy to do when it feels like I’ve got nothing to say... If you were one of my regular phone friends that I spend hours speaking with then you’d hear me talking in circles.

Dilemma: the money has run out (just a bit too soon), so that ‘CHiP’ is completely ready to go with no way to make it go! I want to scream – I’m so frustrated Yell. I really can’t get mad at anyone, it’s my own doing. If I had been a little wiser with the finances, if I had spent less, if I had done something different!!! But it’s really no use beating myself up over it now, now all I can do is move forward from here. Or really all I can do is sit here until the money comes in Cry

Disappointment: I have in my head the way this was supposed to go ~ I envisioned everyone falling madly in love with ‘Safe’ and my signings being like a mad house with people lining up out the door and around the block. Don’t laugh – this has always been my ambition it’s just who I am. And is it so crazy? Is it so wrong to dream big?

So that is the two things that have been plaguing my head. And like a merry-go-round on steroids I keep going round and around them!

To try and distract myself I’ve been working on two books. Ambitious? Well, that too is me... ‘CHiP’ is a squealed novel as well as ‘Stuck – Facing Forward’ and because both are written in full I’m working ahead of myself to try and get them completed.

I’m finding it hard to be motivated and positive. This adversity seems to be eroding my self esteem. Silly isn’t it? I’ve been told by countless fans that my book is loved, my writing is beyond fabulous, my ideas/characters/the whole thing is engaging. Cool! So how come it’s so hard? How come I only focus on the negative?

Augh! I’m tired of being so ruled by my negative emotions.

So, to take my thoughts off that I did a crazy whirlwind trip. It worked out well; I was able to help out a friend in need, visit with some old friends of mine face-to-face, and go on an adventure.

I love adventures!

When I was quite younger and I ran my day-home, in BC, I used to do very silly/adventures things! Once I rode the Sky train (like the C-train) from one side to the other with 7 kids in my charge. Why? Just to do it. The kids loved it, it got them out of the house – the spirit of adventure wasn’t lost on them. Everyone else thought I was crazy!!!

However, I felt like a five hour drive out of Calgary to then drive through Edmonton and all the way down to the Tsawwassen Ferry’s in BC to drive back to Abbotsford – well, that seemed like a lively enough adventure for me! Without a second thought I was on my way.

They say the teenager mind is not fully developed and thus teenagers are subject to the ‘let’s do something ridiculous’ mentality and instead of thinking about it, weighing out the consequences and deciding if it’s safe or not, their only response is ‘sounds cool – let’s!’ I think I have a teenaged mind at times.

Positive outcome: I got to see all my good friends. I have layers of friends and every layer is needed and dear to me.

§  My first layer is the childhood girls I grew up with. Two I have managed to keep in contact with, one being a sporadic kind that we lose touch for years only to regain it and keep on as if no time had passed, the other I have been in contact with since I was eight.

§  The next layer are my having children friends, two again – they were having children when I was and subsequently we raised our children together, I’m Auntie V to their broods, they are aunties to my clan.

§  The next layers are my Albertan friends ranging from the ones I we met when we arrived in this new town

§  And the last are my latest – my book friends.

I am blessed with so many friends. And yet I never feel like I’ve reach that perfect amount where I might say, ‘sorry, my friend docket is full’ I don’t think I ever will. We can never have too many people we love and care about in our lives.

The best part of this trip was that it was all about the face-to-face. Face-to-face with my childhood friend to drive her home – there is no time like quality time and lump that with quantity and you’ve got yourself nothing but the best of times. 17 solid hours driving ~ road trip time, even better. We drove, saw wonderful wild life: two elk, three fox/wolves, and one black bear (wish I had brought the camera). We ate and talked and listened to music when we wanted. We peed at the side of the road. We slept in a road side turn out. Aaah, the adventure of it!

Then after saying ‘see you later’ to her I traveled into Abbotsford, my former home, and saw not only my two having children friends, being able to talk and look at their faces, I also got to see their growing children. What a treat.

Lastly I was so lucky to get to see my other childhood friend who I had only just reconnected with after a 13 year stretch. And this was super great. We talked so long we got dirty stares from our waitress after only three hours of eating dinner. Then we took the conversation back to her house and kept going until her, soon to be, significant other returned home with his childhood friend. It was really crazy how that worked out! He had been contacted by his friend saying he was in town only hours before I called my friend to say I was cruising through... Love it when things like that happen!

So our little twosome catch up became a foursome (nothing naughty). It was more fun than I can explain. The funniest moment was when the other visitor, being American, was complaining about all us Canadians down there and I asked how he knew ‘us Canadians’? was it like a they had a tattoo on them? Then I proceeded to pull up my pant leg and show off my tattoo ‘made in Canada’ I’m so proud to own it!

Ok, so great trip. But it had to end and I returned home – home to frustration. That’s where I’m at. Frustrated. I guess that’s where I will stay until something shifts...

Hope something shifts soon.

Until next time,

Aviva B.
 
Eat Pray Love, 2010

Eat Pray Love

First off I have to admit, this was my first movie after not seeing any for almost two weeks (or was it longer – it felt longer). Why I chose this from the many, many, many other’s I’d missed in my 14 day absence, I don’t understand... But I did and here we are.

If you’ve checked in with other reviews you’d have heard less than enthusiastic reviews, I’m afraid that I can’t offer anything more hopeful.

Right off the bat I’ve heard some wild impressions from the workers at Chapters that wonder what they could have found in the book to transfer over to the screen. 60% of people I’ve talked with don’t like the book – but the means 40 do.

My impression? Well it was simple ~ loved the seats, loved seeing my former work colleagues, loved the big theatre, the theatre food, the previews of things to come. And now about the movie ---

I like Julia Roberts. I’m happy that she’s started a family and taken some time off for the kids. However it was very nice to see and hear her again. I think that was the biggest appeal of the movie. Lights went down and there was Julia’s voice narrating the thing! Now, I’m not fond of narrated films – I think ‘why tell what you have the medium to show’ but it was just such a treat to hear Julia’s voice again that I let this one slide.

The movie itself was a bit of a soul searching documentary ~ I think many can relate to this because we are all searching! No one seems to have found ‘it’ and so we look and look. For me, it was interesting to see this woman’s journey (though sensationalized), and I can’t deny the vain of jealousy I felt that she had the luxury, finances and tenacity to go off and explore other places and cultures in the world.

The movie itself didn’t have much to go on. Not much drama, not much sweeping scenery, and really not much wisdom for the viewer to walk away and say, ‘I found my latest it’. It was a cute story, but one I could see would have done just as well in a movie of the week (TV) venue.

My biggest complaint would be that the movie was like three movies, or four. It was about this one woman’s adventure to find herself, and so I didn’t feel like any of the other actors were anything but fillers. To top it off in the end I didn’t feel like she was that much better off, just more traveled with more experiences. Maybe it made a better book?

My rating is 2.8 stars and that might be generous because it was the first movie I saw in 2 weeks!

Until next escape (hopefully sooner this time),

Aviva B.
 
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